This morning while I was in someone else empty room drinking some carrots+apples+ginger juice, I realized that I have not wash my hair in 4 days…
Why and how things like this are happening to me lately? Is this a sign of not taking care of myself or is just busyness (is that a word?). Am I forgetting to take care of myself while I’m here trying to figure things out?
Later that day when I was walking home with my hands full I started to think another subject… “when did I start living like this?” Always packed. What happened with my easy life where my only concern was “what I am going to do this weekend?”. It is not just that, I’m walking like someone who walks without any hope…did I lose my hopes on my dreams?
Another question pops: “when did I stop living in a crowded house to live in an empty space?”. Every night, when I get home I always say “hi home” and every time I walked in, is like those words are a desperate howl to pretend I’m alright.
I’m not young to wait but I’m old enough to understand that I need to feel that I’m holding to something certain; I cannot keep living not knowing… that gives me wrinkles.
I’m running out of time, I need to be on safe grounds… I do not want to keep going to bed feeling afraid…it aches.
Suddenly and just like that…before falling asleep, I cried.