And when I left him … I became myself again.

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 How many times we have found our self in the middle of a toxic relationship that had made us lose our essence? How many times did you find yourself looking in the mirror crying and saying “he did not mean to”?

 We all have given this excuse at least a thousand times, but the day when I decided to think about myself first, I realized that there was a whole world out there ready to draw a smile on my face. And yes, doing this you will comprehend that a smile it is worthy than a thousand nights of bitterness love crumbs.

 I’m telling you this from my experience; A while ago I was involved in a relationship where there was always a tear on my face after his apology. It is not easy to admit this but time have helped me to heal; I felt used on the birds and the bees, I finally understood that I was begging for love, I felt that my feelings were mocked and above all, I felt that I was someone’s pastime when for me he was “my forever”.

 My grandmother, who is one of my greatest confident, told me: “nobody has died from brokenhearted, just leave and do not say good bye”; and after her wise words I put my shit together and walked away. I decided to leave that noxious relationship for myself, for my sanity and for I deserve to be happy and love 24/7.

 This experience left me with a whole new me:

  1. I discovered my passion for writing. I did not know I could feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with strangers without feeling afraid of being judged.
  2. I discovered that real love does hurt and does not need to be ask.
  3. Being happy is a decision that begins with ourselves.
  4. I became more focus on my professional goals.

 While days are passing, I am still feeling proud of my decision; my world started to look pretty awesome since I walked away from him. Nevertheless, I have to tell you this, he was not to blame for my unhappiness. Everything was happening as I accepted it. But maybe that relationship was the product of what I thought I deserved because I did not ever know anything else.

 

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Angie says:

    I’m glad to hear that you were able to get out! I’ve seen many friends leave relationships like these in the past and rediscover their sanity, love for creativity, and happiness once they’ve left. Always remember to love yourself first, and keep your happiness alive ❤

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you so much for reading it 🙂

  2. “But maybe that relationship was the product of what I thought I deserved because I did not ever know anything else.”

    Too many people feel like they deserve less than they do. Yes, all relationships involve their share of challenges. But at the end of the day they should build one up, not bring them down. I’m glad you were able to walk away when you needed to.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you for reading it ♥️🌷

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you so much!!!!! ♥️

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