Until we meet again…

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I can’t believe I’m writing this, I was always afraid of this day and now the time has come.

The nightmares are not going to hunt me anymore, I was never ready for this, but who is? I’m not sleeping well since I got that call that Tuesday morning, I cannot believe you are not longer here. You were the key of my life… Grandpa I’m going to miss you.

Today I’m struggling to accept my new reality, I wish I can go to my secret place and disappear for a few days but I need to keep myself away from that kind of drugs.

Yesterday I took a walk on than cold sand to understand what happened. No one told me this pain could be so hard to breathe, I feel my heart is numb and I cannot think clearly anymore.

I decided to publish this today because today I suppose to give thanks.

I’m thankful for having you, for have been call “The General’s Granddaughter”. I’m thankful for my amazing childhood, all my trips to the beach, to the mountains, thanks to you I can say I know my country. Thanks for all those Disney movies when we were kids, all the barbecues on Sunday. I’m the woman I am today, thanks to you, you told me how to fight and never give up. You gave me the most precious memories… I had the best Grandpa.

When you were in the hospital, I started to feel this hole in my chest, I was feeling like someone was tearing my life in million of pieces.

You taught me how to take care of my car, you trust me your precious car, you show me how to manage money, you even try to teach me how to cook like you.

Now I’m here in the middle of the night writing this for you, grieving the loss of you.

Even when I feel my world seems a little less vibrant without you in it, Grandpa I will always going to love you and never forget about you. I never told you, but I did that tattoo close to my heart because that is where you have been since forever and where you always going to be.

I know this is not the end. I know I will see you again someday, not now, but soon enough.

Someday, I will hear you asking me again “where are you going?” and I will sneak through the back door so you cannot see me leaving.

I promise you I will keep talking to you every night when I light a candle on your name, I will keep asking for your guidance. You were the most amazing grandfather I could have ever asked for.

I love you so much and I will miss you every day.

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24 Comments Add yours

  1. Jessica says:

    Siento mucho tu pérdida.. This reminds me my grandpa a lot… I’ve been through the same 3 years ago, and sometimes I find myself still crying, but I know that he’s on a better place now, and that he’s taking care of me as nobody will ever do. I am 100% sure that your grandfather is doing the same as well.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thanks my dear…. it’s hard but I know you are right. We just need to learn how to live with the emptiness. Big hug for you, your words reached my heart.

  2. Jassica Nia says:

    Such an amazing amazing write up on your grandpa- it has touched me deeply and I feel for you beautiful soul. So much love for you, and your grandpa, and I wish I can reach out to give you a big warm hug. I wish you gazillions blessings of love and warmth and reassurance, and I know your grandpa is now looking out for you, and are in the position to do so much more for you even though he is not here physically now with you.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you so much Jassica!!! It’s not easy but here I go. Big hug for you.

  3. Julie Tran says:

    awww what a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. he sounds like he was an amazing part of your life and those memories will carry on.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      YES Julie!!! Thank you so much

  4. Morgan says:

    I am so so sorry for you loss, this is such an incredible tribute. Sending you lots of love

  5. Caroline says:

    Sorry for your loss.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you ❤️😢

  6. I am sorry to hear your lost! Time will pass and yoy will slowly learn to leave without the person you love. We have been there or atleast some will so I guess this is just a circle of life. My husband lost his both parents in cancer. His mum just recently so I know what you are going through…

    http://www.familyearthtrek.com

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you ❤️😢and I’m sorry for you too. Hugs and prayers for you guys.

  7. Bri says:

    So sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful piece!

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you ❤️😢

  8. Dieter says:

    I really read a complete blog but i have taken the time to read yours complete

  9. tachiwi says:

    Losing a loved one is never easy. You were lucky to have such a loving and supportive grand dad 🙂

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you 😢❤️

  10. Thinking of you! My grandma was the same in my heart, just remember to let the tears come, talk about him, and keep the memory alive. I’m sure he felt the same way about you that you did about him!

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you sweetie 😢❤️

  11. Brittany says:

    Wow this is so touching, so sorry for your loss. ❤

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you Brittany 😢❤️

  12. GlossyCoverEditor says:

    What a touching tribute to your grandfather. It is apparent that you had a wonderful relationship that you will cherish always. So sorry for your loss. XO

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you ❤️😢

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