This is me today…

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Today is so delightful outside. I’m sitting on my backyard, still wearing my pajamas, enjoying a cup of black coffee (no sugar, no milk), feeling pleased by the silent, the birds, and the sun.

My week days are always active. Getting up at 5am, go to the gym, shower, breakfast while I’m driving, arriving at 8.30am to work for 7 hours, then school for two hours… a piece of cake right?

Thinking about myself, in how much I have progressed since I’m living on my own, what can I say about who is this woman sitting here writing? I believe I’m the typical woman in her early 30s that work hard to pay the bills, that love to read books about perfect love stories (Nicholas Sparks is my favorite writer), a woman who got tired of looking for love usually in the wrong places, and now is here just waiting for love to find her. I enjoy the comfort of an old pair of jeans with a white shirt and dirty Chuck Taylors.

Sometimes I feel I’m too much of a giver, I feel some people are just using me and I don’t like that. Since that, I decided to spend my time with people that have shown me they really care and represent someone positive in my life.  

Despite the fact that it might not make others happy, or that it’s not exactly what all of my peers are doing, I’m not going to let the expectations of others tear me down anymore.

I have some mistakes on my luggage but none of those can tell you what my life is supposed to be about, only me can do that. I discovered that my existence was meant for something better, something big than what the world was showing me back home, I’m not that person anymore. It took me a while, but I’m starting to get all my things together.

If Kanye West can call himself a god, I can call myself a writer. One day I will publish my book and the world will know about that story I have locked in my chest waiting to release.  

Yes, I’m not getting any younger, time is touching my ass but I’m letting my values and God guide my life, and I will keep sharing my light with those that deserve it. I don’t give explanations anymore, I just don’t care…well, only to my Mom if she asks.

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. sofieyah says:

    Thanks for sharing! I always feel like such a giver as well, and I have the same sentiments as you… but then again, that’s just who I am and how I was raised 🙂 it’s made me into the person today!

  2. Polkadotblonde says:

    It’s hard to cut people out who are like that, but once you do, you will feel much freer. I too feel the same way about being a writer. I’d be very interested in reading your story once it’s out into the world.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you very much 🌺

  3. Haha explanations to mom always have to happen 😉 Love it

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