To my short term self



Here I am, sitting in a new coffee shop, thinking about what should a write. I have been the last weeks in a procrastination mode, I wasn’t able to write not even a single word. But maybe this “Abuelita Mocha” that I’m drinking will bring me some inspiration on this hot day of summer.

Lately I had been out of focus, so many things are happening right now, starting from the fact that I miss Love but I know I MUST let him go, and the most important of all my reason is that I’m still fighting for my master admission but I need to do the TOEFL test one more time to get a better score; all these issues are making me feel sad, I cannot understand why every time I’m close to my dream, always something new comes out and delayed all my plans. I don’t have too much time left here, but I’m not giving up.

I know I need to try to chill, I know I need to trust in God’s plan, and for sure I need to keep working hard and not losing time.

So, after almost a month of not writing, today I decided to promise certain things to myself, and make those things happen in short time:

  1. Surrender myself with people that push me to go higher.
  2. To ask if I don’t know something.
  3. If I don’t like my job, I will do my best to do a good job. Something good must come out of that.
  4. To not expect anything from others.
  5. Like the song, “always be humble and kind”.
  6. To love my neighbor as I love myself. (That was today’s lecture at Church).
  7. To work out every day, just resting on Sundays.
  8. To call home every day if possible.
  9. To write every day, even if is just one paragraph.
  10. Every Sunday a “family meal” with one of my friends.

This morning I woke up feeling more optimistic, I was feeling lost but after Church, I started to feel way better. Being alone in this big city it’s not easy, going home is not an option, but I’m still fighting for my main goals. 

May I include on my list that I just wanna be happy?


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Gwen says:

    Hang in there and remember what they say, it’s always darkest just before the dawn! With everything you are going through I think you have made wise choices for your current goals. Wishing you happiness and success!

    1. bellafilippi says:

      Thank you so much Gwen!!! Amen amen, best wishes for you too.

  2. Yes, you may put that on your list (that you just want to be happy). But only if it’s higher up. Be well, young one; you have all the time in the world to do everything that is necessary.

    1. bellafilippi says:

      At my 33, I don’t feel young, I feel pressure. But you are right. I will keep working hard. Thank you so much Paula!!!!

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