Dark Dreams

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Long time no talk old love…

We don’t belong to each other, but you’re still making my heart go hard… like I know I’m still making you go…

You’re still giving more reasons to feel alive.

We keep this feeling for our self; no one needs to know about our whispers in the dark, about our untold plans looked out in our memories, and about that wind with sparks in our eyes like a twilight next to the beach.

Can you just keep me next to your thoughts, next to your night table as I will keep you next to my yearning box every time we spoke? Every time we loom?

Maybe someday, before we leave this place we will meet again, and we will burn together all the ashes in a farewell night without words, without witness, without regrets.

You healed me, you sewed my soul and as far as I felt, our memories are better than thinking about writing another chapter.

If I die tomorrow, I will be fine, you that soul mate, something I never thought possible after being played so many times. I know you shatter me, but I reborn stronger and bright, I own my life to you today.

I can recognize the woman I was trying to understand in the mirror.

Today I heard a song “only words bleed”. I’m not bleeding anymore, you know that; my wound is headed.

Can I ask for one last thing?

Please, hold me tight before you go for good, and read in my darkness eyes my wish of never let me go.

Don’t forget how we kissed under the southern sky back in spring when the cold burned our skin and the lies flew like raptors without mercy in an undeveloped story.

Be sure, anywhere you go, you were my favorite nights, my favorite mornings and my favorite time.

Happy Father’s Day Grandpa

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Let me tie my heart, these lines made it in pieces.

Did I tell you how much I love you? It’s has being 32 years of loving you. 

I’m always going to be here for you, I can leave everything if you ask me to.

I’ll be your granddaughter to the last of my days, until my last breath.

Don’t feel sad because we are separated now, I never forgot you, I always carry you in my heart, you’re always here. But I’m one who’s sad, I cannot hug you every day like before, I cannot mess your hair while you are reading the newspaper, I don’t have to leave the house on tiptoe anymore like when I was there so you don’t realize I was going out and said “Where do you think you are going? “.

All the strength I have is thanks to you, you always believed in me, you always gave me your hand and helped me in my worst. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you.

Now I understand that not everything is like a fairy tale, you protected me from what is now my day by day. But don’t worry, I’m fine, I’m stronger enough, my skin has become thick and I learned to take care of myself.

I have my faith that walks with me every day, and I know you’re starting to lose your memory  but there is nothing in this world that makes me more happier than hear you ask me how I am, where I am and tell me how your knee hurts.

I’m not that spoiled girl anymore. I learned to survive. I didn’t come here to give up, I came here with a goal, and nothing it’s going to beat me.

Now I understand that not everyone who wants to help me it’s my friend, and I miss those times when you were there with your healing love to fix my wounds.

I hope someday I can pay you back everything you had done for me and there is no day in which I don’t ask God for a little of extra time with you… I need more time and you need more time.

I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to give my life for you, but I know you will tell me that you lived and now it’s my turn. My life wouldn’t be what it is today if it weren’t for you.

You taught me how to love with my whole heart, you taught me how to be treated like a lady, and if I smiled I look prettier, but above all, you taught me how to be myself.

You told me once you will always be here to take care of me… please stay.

I love you Oscar Ali.

Your present

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I’m good at writing lines without recipient, but not so much writing a letter I’m not going to send.

Did you know I liked you when you were sleeping? Did you know I loved your smile when you just woke up those days of March? Did you know I loved fighting for the sheets when we didn’t want to get up? Did you realize you capture me the day you hugged me and I push you because was hot?

These pass weeks I understood we felt different and our story has two meanings, yours and mine.

You were my love in your wrong time.

I liked you for how you were and I liked you even more when I recognize myself in the mirror when I was with you. I wanted to try something, but it wasn’t mutual.

I even liked your big nose, and I liked your lips with some else flavor. What else I liked about you? The sound of my name in your voice, how my hearth jumped when you were around.

I liked it when it was you,  I like it when you told me no one had treated you like me, and the most, I liked when we were playing  on those sleepless nights.

I liked to see you smiling, and thinking it was because I was making you happy. I got high just imagining we were “forever”.

I like the idea of ​​these lines and what a better reason, today is your birthday.

I wanted to take care of you when you were sick, when drunk or when you felt sad. I wanted to feel that you always going to be fine, I wanted to feel protected and that seen every day how the time stopped moving.

…Happy Birthday!

Mr. K

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It was a Tuesday night. She was bored in class when a friend told her to meet one of his best friends who is in the city. What she never thought was that night was the beginning of a lesson that she did not have to learn.

It was a cold winter night. She left work late, she tired but she went to meet the guy.

20min late for dinner they agreed.

He was there, sited by the window, wearing a cream cap, quite serious.

She said “Hello” and he said hello with a smile and a hug. She felt she knew him since forever.

Took her just a few hours to understand he needs to be heard, to be taken serious and to be love.

After dinner, he said “come with me” and they went to a bar.

He showed her pictures of him naked because he wanted to her to believe he was a soccer player. A move that made clear he was looking for a hookup. Was risky, but he wakes the curiosity on her that night.

Time passed. Was time to leave. He grabbed her hand and said “stay”.

A few hours later she stood up and said “I’m leaving”. He said “wait for me”.

They left the bar together, she walked to the bus stop and he said “while you’re with me, I will not go alone in the middle of the night.” He called a taxi.

They went to his place. They talked the whole night. If he was looking for something else, it did not get it.

She knew since the first moment, she should not trust in him.

She was not afraid to be alone with him, he were very respectful.

He told her he loved her smile and the more she listened, the more she felt attracted to him.

There was a connection difficult to explain between them, but she knew he had a secret.

They kept talking during the week and he began to flirt.

That weekend she took him to had dinner with her family. They saw in him what she refused to accept, he were arrogant and without common sense. But she decided to give him a try; not very often someone made her feel special.

After dinner, he took her to a bar. They danced all night. She liked when he tried to kiss her without actually doing so.

Hours passed, and he waited the last minute for kiss her. The kiss happen in the middle of the track, she never kissed in the middle of a crowd, he made her to feel free.

That night she said “I like you”.

The next day, they walked around the city and went to a bar with live music.

They kissed, they couldn’t stop. She knew he wanted her, she felt it, she saw it.

It took only three days together to make her felt trapped and completely in love.

In one of their dinners he said, “You’re making me rethink many things.” What most surprised her was when he said “I want your heart.” She did not answer.

The next day she invited him to spend the night.

They talked the whole night until they fall asleep. That night they did not make love.

She started to ask to life why he came into her live without warning? Why she felt so completed? How was possible with just a few weeks she can be happy?

Two weeks have passed.

He invited her to have dinner at his place. Was on a Wednesday night when there were no excuses and where there were no longer barriers.

His kisses swept every centimeter of her body; his fingers touched her in every corner … he were the best medicine for her pain.

The next morning they woke up when his alarm rang, he hugged and kissed her again.

He left 5 min before her. She wanted to surprise him so she started to organize his apartment.

When she was organizing his dining table, she found a note for Valentine’s Day was in another language, she could not understand, but was signed for a girl and was dedicated to him.

She stayed a few minutes in shock; she could not believe what she was seeing.

For the first time in a long time she felt good with someone, she felt it was just her, she thought she was not sharing.

She just left a note saying: “You could be honest. Thank you for the night. “She grabbed her stuff and go.

At the end of the day, he called her to see her. He said he could not stop to think about her the whole day. She brake down and told him. He apologies, he said “I did not expect to feel good with you, I was so confused, did not know how to tell you.”

She decided to continue the adventure instead of keeping her sanity.

For some reason God put him on her path, nothing is coincidence.

He was kind, he was sweet, but she understood he was just enjoying. It is ok, she thought. She used to being used.

She asked God what was his plan, she didn’t understand why he brought to her life this guy if he was not going to stay.

She began to think of how to say goodbye…

On their last night together, she took him to one of her favorite restaurants. Before they went home, he wanted to go to a hookah bar because he needed to talk to her.

Everything he said she had it on her mind like a tattoo on her skin, he said he will back to her; he will back to where their story began. He talked about future. She just listened, she couldn’t say a word.

They made love one last time and he did not notice she cried, that was her happiness fading away, she knew he will not come back.

The final day arrived … she took a deep breath, he was still sleeping. She gave him a kiss on his forehead, she hug him and got up from the bed like a thief in the middle of the night.

She couldn’t say “do not leave me”, that morning hug was her way to say “I need you.. because I love you.”